Saturday, September 15, 2007

This is what I know...

Today is my forty-second birthday and in honor of this auspicious occasion, I thought I'd share some of the hard-won lessons of those years.

This is what I know...

Never ask permission, ask for forgiveness instead.
When dealing with a man, if he won't listen to reason then work your way around him.
Lose the excuses, put on your Big Girl panties and own up to your shortcomings.
Learn how to change a tire, it's not rocket science.
Low fat does not equal, low calories.
Eat dessert first unless you're having macaroni and cheese - that comes first.
Don't save your nice things for an 'occasion', do you really want others using your 'good' stuff for your funeral?
Oreo's and anything chocolate make up the fifth food group.
You are not incharge of anyone's happiness other than your own.
It's not a sin to have a cocktail at lunch - try something fruity, be good to your body!
The world was created without your help.
Don't sweat over clean underwear, if you get into a serious accident you're going to poop in them anyway.
Sometimes it just isn't about you.
Buy a vibrator, make a date with yourself.
Buy your clothing a size too big, feel good about yourself!
See a therapist, its one of the most loving things you will do for yourself.
Fitted pants have no place in your closet.
The world doesn't end because you've worn white pants after Labor Day.
Ban all girdles and control top pantyhose from your closet.
It's okay to go to dinner alone.
Strive to be the best (insert name here) you can be.

And finally, my latest theme song. ;) This is from the Broadway show, RENT:

Another Day

The heart may freeze
or it can burn
The pain will ease
if I can learn
There is no future
There is no past
I live this moment as my last

There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today

There's only yes
Only tonight
We must let go
To know what's right
No other course
No other way
No day but today

I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only goal is just
To be

There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today...


Kate Douglas said...

Love your list, and happy birthday, m'dear! Forty-two? You're a child. I have kids almost your age!!! One word of wisdom from an old broad--it just keeps on getting better. Live each day like it's your last and always remember to smile. It drives people batty, wondering just what it is you're thinking!

J.C. Wilder said...

I hear ya, sister!!

SPCafecontest said...

Terrific list of truisms, darlin'. Have a Happy Birthday and remember, don't sweat the small stuff. Friends are life's greatest gift, and babe, friends don't come any better than you!


N.J.Walters said...

Words of wisdom to live by. Wonderful list, JC!

Happy Birthday! Hope you have a very special day and that the next year brings nothing but good things your way.


Anonymous said...

Happy birthday!

I'm a big fan of begging for forgiveness instead of asking for permission, too.

patricia sargeant said...

Happy birthday, J.C.! I hope you have a wonderful, healthy and successful year. Thanks for sharing your life lessons with us. I love mac and cheese, too. :)

Pam said...

Happy Birthday, JC! Great list.

Carolan Ivey said...

I hope you had a good day, darlin'. You know I love you more than my luggage. SMOOOCH!!

Judith Rochelle said...

Me, I'm with Kate. I have twins you could be a triplet with. And by the way, the very best meal as you know, is a b owl of m,ac and cheese followed by a giant bag of cocolate-filled, chocolate-covered oreos. Love your list. I'm prfintint it out,. hpe your birthday was the best. Here's my cybertoast to you, one of the really good friends I've been lucky enough to find in cyberspace.

TinaGerow said...

Happy Birthday JC! I love your list!! The clean panties one made me laugh out loud.

I hope you had an amazing birthday and many more to come :)

TJ Michaels said...

LOL! I found myself nodding at most of these!

Happy Birthday, woman!