Friday, September 14, 2007

The Man In The Relationship?

Hey ladies, have you ever felt like you were the "man" in a relationship. And men, have you ever felt like you're the "woman" in the relationship? It's something I've really been thinking about and thought I'd get ya'lls (yes, it's a word ;D) on this.

The stereotypical "man" is one who wants sex all the time, tunes out his woman when she nags about trivial things (like a cup in the sink, or a piece of lint on the floor), while the stereotypical "woman" is the one with the headache (so, er, no sex except on special occasions, like the return of Christ or something), who nags her man about chores and the honey-do list, and is constantly demanding that he talk to her.

Well, what if the roles are reversed? What if it's the woman who's always chasing her man down to get some, and he's the one with the damned headache all the time? Or the woman who just doesn't see the point about trying to keep a perfect house and couldn't care less about a cup in the sink? Or the woman is the one who deals with her man being always stuck up under her and he's the one that complains if she doesn't give him her undivided attention when he wants it, whenever he wants it, regardless of what else she has going on?

Yes, it does happen! Been there, done that!

Men, do you want a woman with more balls than you? Probably not. So I wonder what it is about this current generation of females (according to my college age daughter who thinks they're all crazy) who believe they want someone who is sooooo sensitive and less manly?

Me, I want a hunky, male man, not a sorta-woman man.

So, whatcha think?



Steve said...

I want a strong woman, but I want the man to be stronger. lol I don't like pansy-men. I like the rough, tough, not macho, but real, sorta guy. Maybe someone with a checkered past, or someone who has a darkness within that needs healing. And how could anyone but a strong woman reach such a man. A determined woman. A woman with a deep and abiding strength, and a tolerance for those dark times. Hmmmm, what's wrong with me? lol

Shelli Stevens said...

I like the blog :)

I always seem to be the one who's in the mood while the guy has the headache more often.

Though I do want a stronger man. I'm old fashioned that way. I'll keep my personality and express my opinion, but seriously. I want my man to leave no doubt he's man.

Anonymous said...

Despite being five-nothing, I have an alpha personality. Most people think alpha personalities only want beta personalities to kowtow to them. NOT true. I don't like always having to call the shots. Truly, I don't. It gets really tiring after a while.

Strangely enough, the only guy I been with--and am still with--who can stand up to me is five years my junior. Luckily for me, he's mature for his age and I'm immature for mine. He has no qualms telling me when I'm being a bitch and normally makes decisions without my input, but is enough of a sweetheart to rub my tummy when I'm...not feeling well, which happens every four weeks like clockwork.

We argue and fight (over the gaming controller, mostly), but we actually enjoy doing that because we know the other can take it. He likes knowing that I'm not going to break down and cry when he gets angry because I'll get angry right back and vice versa.

So, yeah, as sexist as it sounds, I want my man manly.

Lillian Feisty said...

I recently told my husband he had a vagina. He was not pleased. But really, I do feel like the man of our relationship. I think that's why I write such alphas!

Cathy said...

I love alpha men in the fantasy world of the stories I read, but in my real life, there is no way I could keep up.:) A blending of alpha and beta qualities makes the male of the species so much easier to live with.

TJ Michaels said...

Amen, Steve! I'm with you on that. I think women actually begin to resent a man that they can walk over.


TJ Michaels said...

Yo, Shelli and Ann, I don't think either of your comments are sexist or out of line. Sure a woman should be strong and independent, but the 60's are over! It seemed that's when women wanted to be men. Well, uh, last I checked I didn't have a pair of brass ones. And I don't want one. I want my man considerate, but strong. Be THE MAN, damn it! Oh, did I cuss. Sorry *snark*

TJ Michaels said...

Dang, Lilian!! Wow! *tj cracking up*

Mechele Armstrong said...

Cathy, I agree. I like reading an alpha sometimes, but really prefer a mix of beta and alpha. I don't want a man who sounds like he's a woman in diguise. But I'm not into really really macho guys either.

My own guy is a mix of alpha and beta. He's quite a catch and no, he's definitely the guy in our relationship.

Steve said...

I think most alphas are a mix of beta and alpha. I know I am. I'm alpha male in a lot of ways, but I'm also very much a nurturer. I'm the protector, but I'm not a control freak in any way. That's why I like strong women. It's a meeting of equals, even if I am strong-willed. In fact, a lot of the time, it's all about the power struggle. You'll see that in a lot of what I write.

No Nonsense girl said...

yup I was the man in my previous relationship but he had NO balls . I want the relationship to be equal but i don't want to ALWAYS be the stong one, the safe one, the "in charge" one.

I want my man to be a man.

TJ Michaels said...

See, that's what I'm talkin' about! AMEN to all ya'll!


tazteach1 said...

I want a total alpha male. Not the jerkwad who thinks the world revolves around him, but rather the strong, dominate male who appreciates the people in his life and knows how to hold and protect them. I think that type of guy is a nice balance for a strong, "mother earth" type woman and I think these 2 personality types make a good whole in a relationship.

N.J.Walters said...

I write alphas and like to read books about them, but I wouldn't want to be married to one.

To me the rolls between women and men are not clear cut and it really depends on the individuals. It's all give and take. If you're with the same partner enough years, your rolls will ebb and flow over the years depending on what else is going on in your life.